Using Sexual Harassment as a Plot Point for Advancing Romance

How stories shape the minds of girls to imagine being harassed to find love

A still from Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha

Films, shows, and even cartoons that shaped our childhood often portrayed a damsel in distress for the love of her life to come save her. Maybe the heroine is being stalked, maybe a pervert grabbed her hand, or maybe a stranger tried to rape her.

Scenes such as these are where a man can prove to be useful, in that he rescues the woman from the harms caused by his own gender. He fights the offender off, and hugs the heroine for comfort. In his hands, the woman decides to give herself entirely to be protected. This act of saving a woman’s honour blooms into affection and love between the two.

As I grew up, I wanted a love like that too. I’ve often imagined what it would be like to be stuck in an abusive situation for my man to come save me. The bizarre part is that I do not wish this upon myself in real life. Men and their ways terrify me. But the constant portrayal of such plot points in stories have led me to believe that I must be harassed in order to be loved.

The irony is that, in real life, the person that comes to the rescue of the damsel in distress is often another woman. In my life and in the life of women I’ve known, a story of harassment often ended with the woman saving herself or being saved by her mother or her grandmother. Rarely was the knight in shining armour a man.

Although having realised this a long time ago, my mind hasn't changed. I'm tuned to this kind of romance. I want my man to be strong, protective, and be able to save me from danger. Perhaps because I’ve been in danger too many times. Perhaps because I’m tired of saving myself that, for once, I wish someone else would.

However, I'm not going to let the next generation of girls grow up thinking the same. In the stories that I write, I will refrain from using harassment as a plot point for advancing romance.

Women shouldn't have to imagine being violated to feel loved.

If I ever portray harassment, it would be the woman saving herself or another woman helping her. Rarely will it be a man, and seldom the lover, as it often is in life.